Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
