I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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