Me too!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
