yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
