How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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