two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
