some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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