Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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