smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone came in the potted fern
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
