I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
