she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize