Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
