mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
