You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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