She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
did you just send me my own nude
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
