Just cropdusted the office
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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