i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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