Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
