another moral hangover. fuck.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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