Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
