so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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