I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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