I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
