Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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