let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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