In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
