So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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