He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
