so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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