Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
