I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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