my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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