he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
