You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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