that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
