I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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