haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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