Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
