tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
