You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
