meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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