how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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