If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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