I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize