I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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