You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
