Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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