you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Someone shattered a urinal.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
