Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
