thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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