I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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