a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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