let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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