that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
