2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He better not be in your backpack
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
