Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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