worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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