We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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