It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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