I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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