Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
