Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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