she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
