The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
